Who the heck is Dimity?
Being an Identical Twin + Peanut Noodles
Hello my friends!
As many of you know, I came into the world as a package deal with my identical twin, Dimity. 👯♀️
I call her my “backbone.”
Her mere existence makes me feel stronger.
I know that no matter what I do (and she’s witnessed some of my most mortifying moments), she will not only still love me, but also remain my #1 fan.
I can be fearless because I know that I will always have her support, and I will never fail in her eyes. For example, when I competed on Food Network Star, she planned my entire wardrobe. When I got kicked off, she and Mamma met me off the plane with protective hugs. (And this is a PG example.)
I know this because I feel exactly the same way about Dimity (ok, except maybe that time she got the guy we both pined for in Costa Rica).
Whenever I wax poetic about twinhood, I feel a twinge of guilt. I don’t want other people in my life—my amazing sisters and brother, relatives, and best friends—to think that our unique relationships with them aren’t equally special.
(Did I mention, we have identical twin, half-sisters too?!)
Our relationships outside of our twin-ship are irreplaceable and essential.
But sometimes, oddly, being an identical twin can be isolating because it’s difficult to explain the psychological and physical link you share, together and apart (shout out to our unofficial twin support group—Emma & Alyssa, Brenda & Sharon!).
So let me take a stab at it…
When I visit Dimity in her hometown, I have to be careful how I carry myself, because I am a literally a physical representation of her. Though it makes great fodder for pranks, I have to constantly explain “I’m Dimity’s twin” when I fail to return an enthusiastic wave. God forbid Dimity is rude! I won’t have that.
We finish each other’s sentences and read each other’s minds.
We are constantly compared—even scrutinized—by friends and strangers in a way that would typically be considered inappropriate.
Her eyes are more squinty. Her boobs are smaller. She’s better at this. She’s better at that. Her voice is more scratchy. She’s less spacey.
In high school we each wanted to be the “skinnier” twin, but we didn’t want the other to be the “fatter” twin.
We can try on clothes for each other so that the other can see what she would look like in them.
And though we lead independent lives, we are always quietly considering how the other would feel when we follow our independent dreams. Like the time I moved to Ecuador for two years, or when Dimity bought a camper and traveled cross-country with her family for four months. (It’s ok Dim, I’m not mad.)
We are quietly competing, but not wanting the other to “lose.” Like the time I got a Fulbright grant, and Dimity didn’t (but did go on to do Teach For America).
When the other loses or suffers, it’s as if it’s our own loss.
We feel each other’s pain and sadness in the truest form of empathy. It’s visceral.
We fall into fits of laughter that last hours, while our families stare at us like we’re lunatics.
We can travel to each other’s homes without anything, technically, and have everything we need.
When we are together, we make decisions together because we both want to defer to the other, and don’t trust our judgement alone.
Yet, we are unique individuals, and have our mother to thank for refusing to dress us in identical clothes, and encouraging us to pursue different hobbies and interests.
Did I mention, the mother of identical twins is inextricably part of the web? If one of us calls the other, the third dials in 99% of the time. After all, we shared her womb.
We’re wombmates.
Our entire life, we’ve known this isn’t a gift to take lightly. Perhaps it’s why we’ve waited 41 years to collaborate on a project in the public eye.
After all, we’ve been practicing song and dance routines ad nauseam since we were children (yes mamma, we see you rolling your eyes 😂).
Ok, maybe we still do…
We’re always finding ways to synch our talents, which we feel are stronger together. Perhaps it’s twin-karma.
Next week I’ll spill the beans about our project—but if you simply can’t wait, here’s a teaser.
But I don’t want to take up this entire email explaining what it’s like to be a twin.
I really want to introduce you to Dimity, all-round, bad-ass human in her own right.
So, who IS Dimity?!
Dimity is married to an equally amazing man, Nolan, who I take FULL CREDIT for introducing her to, thank you very much. (But that’s a story for another time.)
Dimity and Nolan have two boys who I adore. And I have two girls, because yin and yang.
Dimity went and got pregnant without me (oh yeah, that’s another time I was peeved). But when her first son was born, I was immediately in love—and baby crazy.
I had one more year of partying and getting drunk, and then pulled my mama pants on and got pregnant too.
We’ve raised our children together. They are half-siblings because they share our DNA.
But before Dimity met Nolan, Dimity began her career as a teacher. As a Teach for America Corps member, she taught in some of the most resource-limited public schools in New York City, and went on to found and build non-profit organizations and programs that ensure students from historically marginalized communities have access to high-quality postsecondary pathways—and more! Most recently, Dimity won a seat on her local Board of Education, after a grueling campaign amidst heated local politics so that she could bring best practices from her work to her own beloved school district.
Dim is selfless and fearless, committed to making the world around her a better place.
I should note, she also does this while being incredibly fashionable and up-to-date on pop culture.
She is my personal stylist (thank goddess!). Nearly 80% of my wardrobe are “Dimity-Ups,” as my friends call her cast-off garments. There’s nothing “hand-me-down” about what she passes on.
I will only watch a TV show that is Dimity-approved, because she knows my tastes and also hates horror.
I’m also reluctant to walk anywhere in New York City without her. I never have to look at my GPS, and follow her like a docile sheep. Though she has become a country bumpkin since moving to the Hudson Valley nearly 11 years ago, she’s a city mouse at heart.
I’m the country mouse. (I somehow brought it back to being a twin… 🙄)
Thankfully for us, our family, husbands, AND kids (mostly) put up with our twin antics.
We just can’t help dropping into our own world. We have our own language. (We actually did as children. The only word I remember is “pookala.”)
But often, it feels like when we unite around certain things, they turn out better. It’s like fitting together puzzle pieces and seeing the whole picture.
This is particularly true when we cook together.
(You didn’t think I would leave out something about food, did you?!)
Though Dimity will say she’s an “ok cook,” I think she’s pretty damn good. After all, we have the same mother, and she is the best cook in the world.
Dim finds recipes that are true gems, and sticks with them. For example, she introduced me to an amazing recipe for marinated cucumbers.
And when we cook together, we make masterpieces.
One of our favorite recipes to make together is Peanut Noodles with Shredded Chicken and Vegetables (GF/V Optional)—recipe below. The peanut sauce is succulent and kid-friendly / addictive, and Dim’s addition of marinated cucumbers is a MUST.
Cooking together is a small part of the project we’re preparing to launch in three weeks, but a HUGE part of the inspiration behind it.
Next week I’ll tell you all about it. 😉
For now, keep your toes grounded in the soil as we crescendo towards the Summer Solstice.
♡ With love,
Emma (and Dimity)
Peanut Noodles with Shredded Chicken and Vegetables (GF/V Optional)
This recipe is from the September Meal Plan, accessible to paying subscribers.
Creating recipes takes a lot of time, love, and resources—and many of the recipes I share here also appear in my cookbooks. To support this work, full recipe access is reserved for paid subscribers.
That said, I want these meals to be available to as many people as possible, so I’ve lowered the monthly subscription price. If you’ve been on the fence, now’s a great time to join. Your subscription gives you access to all new recipes, my Recipe Archive, and the Monthly Meal Plan Index—and helps keep this newsletter going.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to TIME FOR DINS to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.